SHAK'N SH*T UP!
Like all good ideas, the CYNT podcast was an idea that was a drunken fever dream of two people living through a plague. Irreverent and so real that names have been changed to protect both the guilty and the innocent, Colour You Next Tuesday is here to help you forget about the shitshow out there in the world. Instead, you get our shitshow. You’re welcome, bitch. When the stupid virus closed Kristen’s salon and forced her and Will to pandemic pod-up, they began to wonder if their husbands suggested that they start a podcast as a way to get some peace and quiet. The joke’s on them though, because now that Season Two is underway, no one is safe from these CYNTs. After convincing Kristen that the world needed to hear their stories, Will is back in the closet. Kristen’s walk-in closet, that is – this isn’t a horrifying conversion therapy Sunday School lesson, for heaven’s sake. Surrounded by shoes and bolstered with a little booze, Will and Kristen record each CYNT episode in her COVID-era home office, which comes with its own executive wash room.
Kristen is a Canadian transplant who delights in shocking the sensibilities of the Southerners who find themselves drawn to her exotic accent and stories of dating that kid that got his eye shot out in the famous movie, A Christmas Story. She’s like those sparkly holiday cracker gifts, beautiful and polished on the outside and then BANG! Full of surprises and a little chaos. You might be alarmed, you might let out a little ‘Jesus, what the fuck did you just say?’… but ultimately, you’ll laugh until you pee your pants. She has accepted her fate to be happily married to a fellow Canuck for 20 years, and is pleased that he hasn’t run yet, because she’s not raising those three sons of theirs by herself. Chloe the Chihuahua and Limpy the Goose are fucking worthless when it comes to childcare.
Will is the fun friend you wish you had in your life. Sigh, if only you were cool. He’s the one who throws the best Halloween party and is the one responsible for that Steel Magnolia vibe in the salon. Sweet, charming, and so humble that you would never guess that he was a hot male model back in the day. His ability to find the humor in the shittiest times may or may not have had something to do with being the first openly gay teen in his small-town Georgia high school. After years of following interests and opportunities as varied as acting, modeling, nonprofit management, live comedy, talk radio, and corporate America. His greatest accomplishment was finding his beau, whom he married and together they bought a house, and filled it with dogs and air fryers.